Health and Safety Emergency!

Just an ordinary day in Stockport…

“I appreciate it’s secure.”

“I know, I know. But you don’t have a spare?”

“It’s an emergency! A health and safety emergency!”

“Fine, fine, yes. I understand.”

“No, it’s fine, thank you. Bye.”

Damn. I had that key somewhere. I know I did. I’m the person who locked it in the self-storage unit to begin with!

That’s the thing I suppose. Maybe there’s such a thing as too secure?

It’s one thing making sure only I can access that unit, but not having a backup?

I suppose it’s great for my peace of mind, but there’ll be hell to pay when it comes to my peace and quiet if I don’t find that damn key.

Oh. And now here she comes. The boss.

“Yes, I phoned them.”

“No, they don’t have a spare.”

“I know it’s my fault. I know we need to get it. I know it’s a safety issue. I…”

“Yes.”

“I will.”

Great. It’s started. This was all her idea anyway. That’s what happens when responsibility gets passed on to me I suppose.

Find something safe. Did that.

Secure – did that too.

Affordable? You betcha.

I even remembered we didn’t have access to a van big enough to move everything at once and found a company to bring the mobile self-storage unit to us!

It’s a good job I’m in the Stockport office today. I wouldn’t want to hear about the repercussions of losing that key all day.

I suppose I could just get some bolt cutters and try and open the padlock that way. I can’t see that being a popular plan though.

Never mind that. Time for some music on the drive.

What?

She’s calling again?

This can wait until I get to the office. Just put my phone in the glove compar-

AHA!

There you are! The key to my storage unit!

Cancel that call, where’s the number…

0161 877 1260

“Hello!”

“Yes, I called earlier about the missing key.”

“Yes, the health and safety emergency, that’s me.”

“Well, I’ve found it. I can be with you this afternoon.”

“Oh, that’d be great actually.”

“No, a different location. I’m at the Stockport office. Here’s the postcode.”

“Brilliant, you’re a lifesaver. See you in a few hours.”

Superb. Looks like I get to play the hero after all.

(Later that day..)

My mobile self-storage unit will be waiting for me and – yes – there it is.

I hope we packed it at the front of the unit…

Is it behind..?

There it is! Brilliant.

Time to phone the boss.

“Hello.”

“Yes dear. Health and safety emergency is over. You can tell Connie her cycle helmet is right here, and she’s going to have a great time on that bike ride tomorrow.”

“I love you too.”

And this time, the key to my storage unit is staying right where I can find it…

Damn.

I had it a second ago!